談公子

朋友的著作入選為第廿四屆中學生好書龍虎榜60本好書的候選書，實在為他高興！記得當日他曾經電郵邀請我為他寫序，但自問才疏學淺，既無文筆可展，亦無偉論可立，故在完全沒有考慮之下便婉拒了。今時今日，他的著作獲選了，更慶幸當初沒有留下半點筆墨，否則失禮朋友，貽笑大方，那就太不像話了。

喜歡叫這位朋友做公子，皆因自幾年前在書棧認識他開始，就覺得他有很重的「公子味」，感覺如遠弗近。我想，我們之間的認識，大抵源於對對方的欣賞和憐惜吧。跟公子不算熟絡，大有君子之交淡如水之感。但他也許不知道，曾經有好幾次我就被他弄得尷尷尬尬，有一次是因為他的著作中提到我，而我事前完全不知情，反而是人客發現後反問我。又有一次，他和一班他相熟的朋友簇擁在書棧之間，忘了他們正推我出來做什麼。再有一次，他在網誌大個標題談我，偏偏我又發現得遲，雖然不是什麼壞事，但感覺就像成為動物園裡的動物，被一眾圍觀者評頭品足，我從來就最怕成為焦點。

公子平日說話雖然蠻風趣幽默，但離不開文人感情豐富和浪漫的氣質，有時我就是覺得他太執著，太過著眼於人家的肯定，糾纏在現實和理想的落差之間，以致無法自拔，到最後還是苦了自己，於是唯有寄語文字，用文字去慰藉自己，為自己療傷。

昨晚突然好想讀逍遙遊，自預科之後，是首次這樣再讀，預科時很喜歡讀莊子，覺得很有哲理，大鵬鳥又好型! 今日再讀，卻是另一番味道。原來當年有很多情理根本領略不到，又原來，即使到如今，似看得明白的東西實際上依然遙遠。「若夫乘天地之正，而御六氣之辯，以遊無窮者，彼且惡乎待哉！故曰：至人無己，神人無功，聖人無名。」或者，凡人畢竟是凡人，只有「待」多寡，無可能無所「待」吧！又或者，正因如此，就更神往那能御六氣之辯，以遊無窮者吧了。我在想，公子也許也如是，對於人間的情和理，也許看得明白，也許有他的一套演譯，但是即使看得明白想得透徹，實際上依然遙遠。

似...

前晚跟朋友傾計，讓我想起一些朋友在不同場合的comment/statement。
A: 你唔似香港人……
B: 你好似古代人！
C: 你好似喺童話故事裡面走出嚟！
D: 你江湖味好重！似女俠！
最騎哩的，是一次跟朋友E談金庸筆下的人物，E突然口風一轉說︰你都有D似黃蓉！
ME: 我經常失憶，絕對唔似黃蓉！
E: 係話你刁鑽古怪！諗埋D野好唔係人諗呀！
ME:  =.="
E: ..... 都唔係，你都有D似令狐沖、楊過……
雖然我鍾意金庸既「笑傲江湖」，但唔係呱！越講越離譜，似古裝武俠片……仲要係男人！！我可從無沒有變性的傾向！！

好朋友

  昨天收到舊同學J的whats app，她與丈夫正式開始三個月的歐洲旅程。

J是我大學年代最親密的同學，我們一起讀書，一起蹺課，一起申請grant loan，拿同一個獎學金，入同一間銀行，一起同居過，多年來都一起去秋季大旅行......

不過更有趣的，卻是我們的不同。J精於數字，為人有條理，很嚴謹；我喜歡文字，為人隨意，只有大方向，沒有小步署。J個性冷傲亦冷靜，斯文大方又得體，寡言少語；我大情大性（others comments），不苟小節，直言直語。J會計劃她的退休生活，希望年老時可以維持一定的生活水平，故一直很努力在銀行工作，是不折不扣的女強人；我從沒有想過要怎樣的生活水平，亦不覺得年老會捱飢抵餓，故一早就離開了銀行，實現兒時的夢想......從大學走在一起開始，我們大家似乎都知道彼此個性的不同，舊同學舊同事都難以理解這兩個南轅北轍的人，怎地成為好朋友。

記得一次食飯時，她說做得很累，每逢周日就性緒低落，很想離開銀行，但放不下高薪厚職，豐饒的公積金。她幽幽道：「 你很清楚自己想要什麼，興趣是什麼，所以你可以心無旁鶩，不用考慮太多；但我除了旅行之外，就沒有什麼大興趣了......」對著這位好朋友，我只能聽，只能替她難過，卻沒有任何建議，因為從來我們就不同，我的方式並不一定適合她。正如遇到一些事，她總會好奇問我何解有某些決定，每次聽完我說，她總是笑笑說「這個就是你了！換著是我就不會了......」

J去年結婚了，我們依舊間中出來食飯談天，最近的一次，是前個月。那一次，除了J之外，還有S。她倆知我要去一個月紐西蘭，反應先是一個「下」，然後是一個「哦」。倒是J提到辭了職，會與丈夫去三個月的長旅行，這個消息實在太意外。連平時不問人家問題的我亦問問題了，J笑我這麼多年來終究會開口問問題，我辯稱我一向不八卦，要告之的話人家自然會說，但我這個問題可是critical嘛！S亦說：「hilda說去一個月旅行，我一點不覺得奇怪，即使她說去一年山區教書傳道之類，我都覺得好自然，好正常，她就是這樣呀！倒是你，這個決定一點都不像是你！」

是的，J一向不是這樣！

原來，今年三四月間，J遇到一次意外，她說當時她在醫院留醫時收到我從京都whats app給她的櫻花，以為以後可能無機會再見我們！塞翁失馬，焉知非福！意外後的J，突破了昔日的框框，作為老朋友，衷心祝願她在這個悠長假期中，找到屬於自己的生活，屬於自己的幸福！

那看不見的

自從使用facebook和what's app，便成為工作和生活不可分割的部份，之前幾年一直用的website，前年開始棄用了。這幾天收到跟書或開班的查詢或order，也多是經過facebook和what's app互動資料和溝通的。

A老師為學生選書，她跟我facebook on line chat後我建議了兩本書，老師說她也想到這兩本，心裡蠻高興的，畢竟，那不是坊間最流行的書，有點英雄所見略同的認同感。

B老師想我為學校辦的書展定個主題或作家介紹，於是又在facebook brainstorm，倒是從老師的反應中，發現自己原來根本沒有從銷量的角度看，反而老師特別在此提醒，心裡感謝她的體貼。

C人客早前透過facebook知我身處NZ，便電郵跟我通訊，回到香港，在facebook發現我病了，電郵問候和溝通仍是不絕，雖然我不是次次回覆(C是外國人，大抵我外遊時在facebook的日誌多寫英文，他看得明我寫什麼吧)。雖然以前一直也有電郵通訊，但他卻甚少到訪，昨天竟無端走上書店，其實有點意外。

這個星期跟書和facebook/what's app有關又最特別的，算是這個！
一位不算熟絡的中學舊同學(印象中好像未曾同過班，只是去年底中學同學大聚會時見過一面)，透過facebook send了一個message來，想我為五位分別由三歲至中五的孩子，每月分別為每人選一本書，再寄到各人的家裡。感覺蠻有趣，便接了這個order，遂就各人的興趣、背景、性格，為他們一一選書，剛剛包好，準備星期一拿去郵寄。

其實亦有點好奇舊同學何解突然有這個構思，但從來不是愛問別人問題的人(尤其是別人的私事又或較個人的想法，當然人家主動說另作別論啦！)，除非有關的問題會直接影響選擇和決定的關鍵則例外 ，故根本沒有向舊同學探究，就任由自己空想。剛剛再收到舊同學的訊息，她表示現在的孩子擁有很多，反而想不到可以送什麼給他們，故希望透過這個過程，將「愛讀書」送給他們。

有時候，禮物並不是重點，倒是它背後的意念才是真正的精神所在！

記得幾年前有一次書棧團年，我沒有預備禮物，早上走在街上，剛巧遇上賣旗，便忽發奇想，私下為一班書棧好友買了10張旗仔，當作當日團年飯的禮物，團年飯時還要他們猜我送什麼禮物，我的提示是「形而上的，可不要想得那麼實際」。結果當然無人猜中，我這個「形而上」的禮物其實只是一個概念︰「施比受更為有福」，引伸出來的「形象」就是sticker旗仔，買旗這個行動就是送給他們的禮物，將他們的禮物轉化為他們的福氣。可能我實在太刁鑽了，最終大家還是不明白，但無關係，我只是想到什麼就做什麼，就如現在我想到什麼就寫什麼。隨意隨心，其實亦不一定要分析過吧！

無論如何，舊同學這個意念，讓我想起幾年前團年飯的一段小插曲。我想，很多事和物，那看不見的，遠比那看得見的來得重要和有意思呢！又不是開會做實務，若事事要講得很白，少了思考過程的啟發、慢慢咀嚼體會的感動，領悟和感受亦可能大打折扣吧！

New born chick

Pics from friend in NZ.

Lovely chicks were born after my leave.  It recalls me a picture in a magazine I read when I was in primary school as well, a chick was outbroken from an eggshell. I used to have the same bookmark as well. But where is it... I think I lost it somewhere in a book I read. Just like I miss NZ somewhere in my story.

I ate an egg freshly lay one day in NZ. After knowing there were baby chicks appear, I wonder if the one I ate would turn to a chick as well. New born life offers hope always! At least, I think so.

Awakening...

Words from Tang Siu Wah:
"有人暈時我在附近。明明好迫好迫，十幾萬人，一話有人暈，迅速退開一條闊路，如圖。搵唔到醫生，一個傳一個，唔得，變陣，十幾個一齊大叫：「有無醫生護士」大叫三聲，馬上找到。要路有路，要人有人。完成，由衷拍手，相視而笑。沒有指揮，自動自覺，機警過軍隊，善良如羊。呢個廣場而家真係神奇到癲。香港人有時真係好爆。有幸成為其中一份子好光榮。"

03年71有50萬人上街，今次97有12萬人在政總，香港人有時亦蠻可愛，只是很多時被其他東西其他事蒙蔽，it's high time to protect our kids, our future, the true values...

Maybe NZ really suits me so perfectly, While HK needs us NOW!!!!

Reverse Culture Shock

Feel sick since back to HK, both physically and mentally. I finally cried this morning, after return for a week.

I miss the sky, the mountains, the lakes, the sheep, the birds, the harmony, the sincerity, the atmosphere, the simplicity, the belief ..... of NZ. It's totally my wish and my style of living! I am back to this sophisticated world: a city full of calculations, a city with protests and elections, lies and hypocritical minds, misvalues and illusions, though I really don't want to say or express like this. I don't want to pose negative thoughts towards others and thus just wanna hide myself. I think I am suffering from reserve culture shock. I once accepted, though unwillingly, our culture like this but I cannot deny that I don’t want to face it, at least in my current status.

Indeed, I am not that brave to fight against the heartbroken feelings in facing this kind of misvalues and lies. I am even afraid of turning on TV these days. Being quite a tough and positive person most often, never think I appear like this, especially after a wonderful tour with grace and love, that I was free from worry and doubt, fully believed God preparing the best for me, no matter what!

Back here in the reality of HK, I seemed to be exiled from my home country my paradise my ideal kingdom… I don’t mean that I don’t care my family, friends, church, little cottage, the place where I were born.… and maybe this is one of my struggles in heart as well. I tell myself to be brave and positive in facing this sophisticated world and abnormal feelings, and in faith of the guidance of my Heavenly Father as well.

Suddenly remember a scene in NZ: God know thoroughly what I want and don't, what I can and cannot bear. He never put those I cannot really afford on my shoulder, though sometimes I may have heartbroken feelings.  Thanks, my Father! I should bear that in mind, right!?

30/8: Auckland to HK

Have to leave today. I woke up in the morning and paid a visit to the garden and backyard. Wanna to say goodbye to the chicken family as well. If possible, I wanna station here longer. But I know I have to face the reality: my family my friends my b/s my little cottage my customers are in HK, though I really love this place.

I had breakfast with Jac family and Kevin somewhere near the airport. It's really special to have friends like these, who just known from my cottage and seen a few times before. I am not always being serious (at least in appearance), but I know they are so special in my life. Really miss NZ, the atmosphere and enviornment, the sincere friends and humanity here. In fact, it seems to be my home country. Even when I were alone in South Island, I never felt strange or odd; But a sense of belonging, closeness and peacefulness, seemed like this atmosphere had cultivated in my heart for long.

When the plane started flying to sky, I don't know why I suddenly wanted to cry. I never had a feeling like that. To avoid thinking too much, I watched 5 films in one flight. When I watched Lovely Bones, I totally forgot I were in a plane full of people and screamed once. Aiya... Come on Hilda, you should not be like that!!!!    

29/8: Rongitoto Island

Visited Rongitoto Island today. It is an extinct volcano that erupted from the sea after series of explosions around 600 years ago.

I took a ferry at the Pier. After boarding, I walked along the tracks and tried to explore the volcanic craters. When I reached Rongitoto Summit, I took a seat and had my muffin. Here I could see the Auckland city and the habour. After having a good rest, I took out the map and continued my journey onward to lava cave. A girl together with her friends from Netherlands asked for a look at my map, we then made friends and visited the cave together. The cave was dark and I carelessly hit my head inside without finding lava. Don't worry, it didn't hurt.

There are over 200 species of native plants in the island. I found quite a lot of them, though I could not really name them.

Have to be back to HK tomorrow and really miss this lovely country. Luckily, I have pictures and wrote quite a lot in this journey that remind me the beautiful and memorable days here.

28/8: Sky Dive & Waitomo

On the way driving to skydive, Kevin said, "Such good weather!"
"Yep. The sky is open for me loi!!" I said.
A foreseeable reaction... A big big O mouth. Haha!

The weather was really good and I gave thanks to my Heavenly Father ... You know, I had never thought of flying in Auckland. Therefore, after leaving Wanaka, I didn't think I could skydive in this tour anymore.

When I were in the sky, I felt I were part of it and dared not want to land!!! I love my first skydive so much and I wanna fly like a bird than ever!!!

After the skydive, we then had a long drive to Cave World in Waitomo and saw a rainbow during the journey. Glowworm cave tour is my another "want" to accomplish. But I only knew yesterday night when Kevin told me that we could be there today.

I looked up the twinkle lights generated by glowworms in the darkness and puzzled how many glowworms were there. When I watched closely at the glowworms, they looked quite strange or even ugly and gave me mysterious feelings. I took on hand pieces of stalactite and fossils formulated for over millions years, it seemed like I were somehow connecting with their history.

On the way back home, it was sunset time and the sky turned into golden orange. Such an amazing and wide angle scenery of sunset...  And I were just sitting in the car and enjoying it. Fantastic enough! When we parked the car, we looked at the starry night and the southern cross stars were just hanging above. I think it's the perfect ending in my NZ journey.

Really thanks for Kevin's great arrangements and being a whole day personal driver, though I always say he teases me.

P.S. Jacqualine, if you are reading it, I still wanna to tell you … It's a perfect day for me! You know, Kevin felt a bit sorry about your failure to come along. I sat besides him and knew exactly what he wrote to you. He asked me to reply you at first but I didn't. You know he likes teasing us la!!! Pretend to be cool ma!!!! Haha!!!! Hope tomorrow he won't leave me alone in the island and not bring me back la, after reading it.

27/8: Auckland

In the morning, wanna have a look at the chicken family and saw an egg laying on the grass of the backyard. Haha! I finally had a fresh egg!

Since the weather was not so good, I could not skydive again. Kevin dropped me at the train station nearby and I thus started the journey in the city. I bought a one-day discovery pass in the train and headed directly to the last train station in Britomart. Since I had no idea at all, I immediately found a free map of the city in the station and then walked around.

After visiting the Auckland Art Gallery, I got into the library nearby. I liked the atmosphere of the library, especially the children section, where kids were reading or listening to their moms' storytelling.

Then I went to Auckland Wintergardens. There I met a gardener. He was considering how to settle and place a proper mix of the new pots of flowers in. I suggested I could help him to bring them to my home country in order to release his doubt. Haha!!! We discussed a bit on the arrangements of the mix towards colors. I think I can be quite a good gardener as well. I am serious!!!

From the Auckland Wintergardens, I saw Sky Tower erecting not far away. I asked a young lady the way to reach Sky Tower and she suggested we go together as she was also walking towards that direction. She showed me the way to take ferry to some scenery spots. I took a photo over the tower but dared not get in. There's also bungy activities in the street, but I really wonder who piggy wanna jump in the centre of the city, being watched by so many people!? Me ma, definitely not !!!

26/8: Auckland

Brief itinerary today:

1. Worship
2. Visit Kelly Tarlton with Katie (a new friend) and finally identify the difference between king and emperor penguins
3. Visit Stardome

Hope good weather tomorrow la so that I can have my skydive. Really so sleepy and cannot say more. Goodnight !

25/8: Auckland

 

The weather was really good today. I joined Jacqualine and Nick with their baby boy Caelum and shopped around. Caelum was interested in almost everything and pointed here and there. Haha! I earned a kiss from this lovely baby. Should be a good day, I supposed.

In the afternoon, Kevin drove me up to One Tree Hill. It was almost sunset and people there were trying to capture the scenery of the city in such evening time. One special finding on the way back: In this comparatively centralized city, there were sheep-bearing activity in Cornwall Park. I saw many lingling sheep all of a sudden. Kevin stopped the car at the street, allowing me to have closer look at the baby sheep. I noticed that they rather liked jumping. Lovely!

At night, Kevin and Jason (met him once in my cottage) brought me to the Cloud and watched a rugby competition between NZ and Australia. I know nothing about rugby and have never watched whatever ball competition in public area as well. It's my very first time to watch such a competition, in a public area, and in a foreign country (many first-time in one time).

In the beginning of the competition, the NZers presented the Maorist dance. Honestly speaking, as I seldom watch this kind of competition and have no idea in rugby, I didn't have much expectation. Nevertheless, I didn't feel boring at all throughout the process, though I didn't understand the rules.

On the way back home... again a starry night with a half-watermelon moon. Hope having good weather in the forthcoming days as well.

24/8: Rotorua to Auckland

After having breakfast, I took a bus to Rainbow Spring, a place where one can meet NZ's unique wildlife, e.g. kiwi, tuatara, trout, etc. In this journey, my major target was to meet kiwi.

Without the ability to fly, kiwis are almost fightless and their activities usually carry in night-time. Generally speaking, night-time animals or birds normally have strong eyesight, however, kiwis haven't ! Their eyes are pretty small and eyesight is weak.

I have not checked any information, but I guess kiwis must be rather stupid. I saw a kiwi running from one corner to another but everytime it jumped at one end and hit its head. Haha! This unlike bird of bird seemed fail to learn from experience. I could not held smiling at it.

In the afternoon, I went to the thermal area of Kuirau Park. I took the last chance to allow my feet relax in the hot spring before leaving Rotorua.

At 8:00 pm, I finally arrived Auckland. My friend picked me up at the bus station and drove directly to Mt. Eden. On the mountain top of this volcano, I could see the scenery of the whole Auckland, under this starry and half-moon night. Indeed, I didn't expect to have any activities tonight in Auckland. This extra tour was definitely a bonus to me.

23/8: Taupo to Rotorua

 

I woke up in the early morning with a wish to visit Huka Fall, the fall I missed yesterday. However, knowing that it normally takes a round trip of at least 3 hours (let alone I was not sure about the direction and seldom meet the target time suggested) from the leaflet posted by the hostel, my plan had blown away. Since I had already booked the intercity to Rotorua at 10:15am, I felt a bit sad on that.

Anyway, I wanna spend the remaining time in Taupo to do something worthy in order to compensate my regret for not visiting Huka Fall. I talked to the receptionist and she recommended me to find the hot spring at the other end of lakefront. I took her advice and walked along the lakefront, the side I did not visit yesterday. It was lovely to see seabirds, ducks, black swans swimming peacefully in the morning.

After around 30 minutes walk, I finally found the hot spring. I sat at the rocks, took off my shoes and socks, and put my feet in the hot spring. It's really so hot but comfortable indeed, especially after my continuous walks day by day in NZ. As no body was there, I felt so relax and was extremely glad that I had such a wonderful moment... bathing my feet in hot spring, enjoying the sky with no limit, facing a sea-like lake, watching the black swan dancing show, hearing the whistling birds and lake tides... I could use all my senses to taste such a comprehensive feelings. Thank God for giving me such a comfortable moment that free of worry and doubt. Regret for Huka Lake... flew far far away.

I reached Rotorua at around 11:30am. After having lunch, I visited Kuirau Park, where containing a mass piece of thermal area. Walking down the Lake Road, I found the Maori Village with many hot springs everywhere. There were many ancient Maorist buildings attaching with totems.

At night, I went to Polynesian Spa for hot mineral bathing. It is one of the top 10 spa and offers 7 contemporary style mineral pools with lake view. Honestly speaking, I could see nothing about the lake, except the moon in the sky, penetrated the veil of hot spring smoke in the air and smiled at me.

Will be back to Auckland tomorrow night.So happy to have someone pick me up and no need to find and find, walk and walk la. Good night!