Reverse Culture Shock

Feel sick since back to HK, both physically and mentally. I finally cried this morning, after return for a week.

I miss the sky, the mountains, the lakes, the sheep, the birds, the harmony, the sincerity, the atmosphere, the simplicity, the belief ..... of NZ. It's totally my wish and my style of living! I am back to this sophisticated world: a city full of calculations, a city with protests and elections, lies and hypocritical minds, misvalues and illusions, though I really don't want to say or express like this. I don't want to pose negative thoughts towards others and thus just wanna hide myself. I think I am suffering from reserve culture shock. I once accepted, though unwillingly, our culture like this but I cannot deny that I don’t want to face it, at least in my current status.

Indeed, I am not that brave to fight against the heartbroken feelings in facing this kind of misvalues and lies. I am even afraid of turning on TV these days. Being quite a tough and positive person most often, never think I appear like this, especially after a wonderful tour with grace and love, that I was free from worry and doubt, fully believed God preparing the best for me, no matter what!

Back here in the reality of HK, I seemed to be exiled from my home country my paradise my ideal kingdom… I don’t mean that I don’t care my family, friends, church, little cottage, the place where I were born.… and maybe this is one of my struggles in heart as well. I tell myself to be brave and positive in facing this sophisticated world and abnormal feelings, and in faith of the guidance of my Heavenly Father as well.

Suddenly remember a scene in NZ: God know thoroughly what I want and don't, what I can and cannot bear. He never put those I cannot really afford on my shoulder, though sometimes I may have heartbroken feelings.  Thanks, my Father! I should bear that in mind, right!?